Feezhah's Diary

it's over.

2010-06-24T10:12:00.000-07:00

I'm done.
I give up.
I don't want to pretend that i'm happy anymore.
It sucks to know that even someone that is related by blood to you makes your life even worse than it already is.
I'm never gonna be happy unless my life changes.
And, it's going down the drain.
Soo, in general, my life sucks, BIG TIME.
Whatever.
I'm not gonna update my blog anymore.
Just relink me, i'll be using tumblr, now. - Zah's Tumblr
Peace!

never say never.

2010-06-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry.

I didn't update this rotting blog of mine for two weeks alreaaaady.

Heeh.
I was kindda busy and at the same time lazy to update.
Soo, apologies.
Lemme summarise what happened past few days aye.

29 - 31 May : Went to KL with family.

It was okaaaaaay. We did aloooot of walking.

1 - 2 June : I forgot what i did or what happened :/
3 June : Angklung training, after that, went to HougangMall library with Sweeta and Syah.
4 June : Skipped angklung training cause i slept late and woke up late.
5 - 6 June : Anti-Drug Parent-Kid Camp.

It was hell fun. I wanna go again, if possible )':

7 June : Class chalet. Had an awesome time. Too bad i was too chicken to sleep over.
It was at changi, aye.
8 June : Movie marathon with Sweeta at her crib.

Watched two movies. Percy Jackson & The LightningThief ; Bring it on(i think).

9 June : Celebrated mommy's birthday. Went for lunch at Swensens.
Watched hindustan movies after that. Then played badminton with Sweeta. Sort of.

Today : Woke up late. On the web since morning.

Soooo yeah. Pretty boring, i agree, my holidays.

I'm sorry.

I don't know if i made the wrong choice or not.

But, the way i see it, i keep disappointing you, as a friend.

I don't know.

It's up to you to continue this friendship.

'Cause, i'm willing to let go.

But are you?

I'll always be there for you and i'll never leave you but don't you think it's not much for me to ask you just this one favour?

Anyway, i'll rarely update this blog of mine.

So, find me on facebook, twitter or tumblr aye.

Szeriously. I'm boooooored :/

Kay, bbye!

My life is tumbling down.

2010-05-28T00:24:00.000-07:00

I AM SORRY!
- for leaving my blog dead.
Heeh.
I was feeling laazy the whole week.
Apologies~

So anywaaay, the holidays are heree. ^^
It's gonna be a hectic holiday for me.
I'm leaving for KL tomorrow.
Not shure when i'll be back, so yeah.
First week of June, i have angklung practices, one whole day, for two days that week.
I also have a camp.
At Sembawang, i think.
After thaaaat is i'm not shure whaat.
Heh.

Won't be updating that much nowadays.
Something's happened :/
So yeah, shan't elaborate hereee.
Only close ones know.
More updates at twitter and tumblr.
Bbye.

Bitch, please. I don't live to please you.

2010-05-19T03:40:00.000-07:00

My stomach's in pain, i swear.
Gaaaawd.
I forgot to take my meds, this morning.
Tsk. Uhuhm.

Okaaaaay, woke up in pain.
Cried a little 'cause i can't move.
Then this and that.
Did e-learning surveys.
Booring!
Soo, after that played the wii for a while.
Then, watched IronMan2, halfway.
It was .. *snores.
Heheh. So, ended up watching Valentine's Day when suddenly, Sweeta turned up.
She wanted to bake and since she has no oven at home, i'm the supplier(:

Soo, we went to NTUC, bought ingredients.

Then started.

Didin't have butter, went down again to buy it. -,-
Watched VampireDiaries as well, while making the dough.
Baked baked baked.
It was delicious!
Nyahhahah.
Did a second batch.
Yeaah, craaazy, but it was nice.

I got my appetite to eat, even though i wasn't supposed to.

So yeaaah.

Now, my stomach's painful.
This is what i get for not eating, and not taking my meds, and eating junkies.
Gaaaaaaah.
Major ouchies.

Ughs.

Okaaaaay, check out my tumblr!!

Found some awesome quotes, ayeee.
Link's under the about me column.
Well, tomorrow's Thursday.
I miss school )':

But i'm scared of my results.

I don't want to be a disappointment.

I know i am.

As a daughter, a sister, a friend, a student.

I'm sucha big disappointment.
That's all.
Oh, found this at tumblr.
Hilarious(:

Vampire Diaries.

Damon Salvatore, Elena Gilbert & Alaric Saltzman.

There is no guarantee, that this life is easy.

2010-05-18T12:33:00.000-07:00

I'm on MC today.
Woke up and realised that i couldn't sit up cause my stomach effing hurts.
Hmm, only one cared enough to text me on where i was.
Tsk. Nevermind.

Updates.
Yesterday, school was school.
Had aerobics, a bore, as usual.
Then had napfa practice.
I got mostly B's and i'm proud of myself.
Tho i think i could've done better.
After that, went to HougangMall with SyahSyahBeylo.
This and that.
Then homed and rested.

There's something wrong with my stomach.
But i don't know what.
My whole body's aching.
It's a weird feeling.
I'm scared.
K, bye.

I'm not worth the worry.
Knowing that not all trusts me, somehow, my heart shattered into a million pieces.
The anger in me flared and boiled, but i felt helpless.
I know i'm weak.
It's been in me for years.
I feel so distant and alone.

Broken.

2010-05-16T01:44:00.000-07:00

Hello earthling{s}!
I'm sick.
Down with flu.
Uhuhm. Kaay, updates.

Fridaay, woke up late since there wasn't school.
Moped around cause there wasn't anything to do.
Tsk. Watched MTV, the whole day. Well, almost the whole day.
Watched Bananas in Pyjamas, too. ><
Around 4, Syah came. Thenthen, went to rivervale mall, bought stuffs, then homed.
Watched VampireDiaries from 1730pm all the way to 0300am.
Yeaaahp, she was sleeping over.
Hectic, veryvery hectic with her around.
Irritating, too ><

Kaay, then, Saturday, woke up at surprisingly, 0830.
Continued watching the remainder of VampireDiaries.
*Cries. Season 2 is still a long time later.
They left us hanging. *&%%$#@@!!
Lols, sorraye. It's just upsetting T.T
Kaay, then rushed off to religious class.
During religious class, i got sick ><
Ohh, and i slept during class, too.
This is the aftermath of sleeping at 3am -,-
After class, went to Compass with Amirah, Afiqah and Amira.
Uhm, okaay, lol. Left them halfway and met my mom.
161-ed to Woodlands. Attended my cousin's uhhhh, something. ><
I was in pain, i swear.
Then went home at around 930. Then watched down with love.
Slept at around 11?

Today, woke up with a throbbing headache and pain.
Didn't eat. No appetite.
Nowadays, my stomach's being stubborn.
Whenever i eat, i'll feel like throwing everything out again.
Tsk. Ridiculous.
Watched V. Some series. Watched till episode 4. Was bored, so, updating.

Uhuhm, currenly changing my blog songs.
Ugh, i'm sweating. From the cold. Gawd, i'm still sick.
And a recent text from that someone made me want to burn my phone.
Huh, i don't know why. When're you going to stop treating me like this?
Tsk. Kaay, gonna be a hectic week the next two weeks of school.
Recieving my results, soon.
Fingers crossed.
Kaay, no mood already.
Bye.

It hurts, knowing for that split second our eyes meet my heart feels like its about to leap.
I should stay away from you, because of the drama we have been through.
I don’t know if its because I just am attracted to you or if its something more.
I just can’t take this feeling anymore.

'Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!

2010-05-13T06:28:00.000-07:00

HELLO humanoid{s}!
MYE's OVER! ^^
I'm ecstatic. Teehee.
Two weeks of cramming formulas and stuff in my brain, was torture.
I swear, veery hectic.
Since i haven't been updating, leaving my blog dead for weeks, yes, guilty ><
Imma summarise what happened during the past few weeks; if i can remember.

Malay Paper, uhhm, well, let's just say paper one was fine. Paper two, not so much.
English Paper, i freaking cried after paper one. I didn't finish my composition.
Like, wtheck?? First time, y'know. Paper two was okaaay, i guess.
Hmm, after that was Mathematics, paper one. o.o It was ugh. No comment.
Literature, was okaaay.
Geography. Was hell. Crammed every bit of information i could into my tiny brain and only the last few chapters were tested. Of course, i did badly. *Cries.
Mathematics Paper Two was easy. I think? Lols. Yeahh, it was easier than paper one.
Science, was okaaay. MCQ was tough, section C was easiest.
Then yesterday was malay LC. Today was art.
I friggin' hate art, kaaay >< Read my past tweets, you'll know whye.
Uhh, kaay, then, after art, went to Compass with Syah and Dayah.
Hung out at the library. Hahhas.
Then, my house. They just went back. Syah, is obsessed with VampireDiaries, i think.
We watched the first four episodes, just now. Uhuhm.

Kaay, uhmuhm, what more can i say here?
Ohh, i created a new tumblr profile.
Check it out - Zah's Tumblr.
Uhm, was bored. So yeahh.
Well, exam's over.
Gonna enjoy the rest of my freedom before i'm "grounded".
I know i did badly for MYE, so i'm probably grounded during the June Hols.
Yeaaahp, more torture.
Hmm, serves me right tho.
I owe Yvonne one outing.
I owe Sweeta one outing.
I owe Syah one outing.
Anyone else i missed out? ><
Hahhah.
Hmm, whenwhen.
Gaaawd, not shure if my mommy allows or not, going out ><
Gaaaaaaaaaah! Stress!
Lols. Over-exaggerating.
That's it then.
Ohh, if i don't update my blog regularly, check my tumblr or twitter.
Heeh, nights earthlings.

'Suuuuuuup.

2010-04-14T03:45:00.000-07:00

MIA.

- studying for MYE.
been doing badly and my behaviour and studies are deteriorating, big time.
so yeaah.

aim, shoot!

2010-04-12T06:41:00.000-07:00

That night i couldn't get to sleep.
My stomach was all twisty and full of needles.
My heart was aching and my head, throbbing.
I tried to think what people would do when they feel this bad.
There had to be some way to make it stop.
Even for a little while.

Okaaaaaay, quick updaaaate.
I'm very tired right now.
Uhm, todaaay had aerobics, as usual.
Blueks, as usual.
Kaaay, then school, same old same old.
Uhm, i'm drained.
Past few daays, i' daaamn tired.
Not shure whye.
Kaaay, mye's are in two weeks and i've yet to revise for it.
Goshh, needa buck up already.
So, yeaaah, that's all for todaay.

2010-04-08T07:18:00.000-07:00

It's a girl's world.
Boys are only there to live.
And, they often create troubles for girls to clear.

Heys.
Yvonneeee here. :D
Zah ask me to post for her.
That's why i'm here. -,-
Kay lame lah.
Um...
Zah!
What am i suppose to post?
Kay.
Apparently zah has a little headache today.
She kind of,
bump her head into syah ?
And, viceversa ?
There you go.
The cause of zah's headache!
Lol.
Kay lah.
Done le?
Burb-bye!
:D

happiness; who said it was easy to find?

2010-04-06T04:10:00.000-07:00

Don't believe everything happiness says,
Nothing feel's better than hiding these days.
I never thought that it'd be easy.
Cause we're both so distant now.
Hmm, yeaaaaahaaaaa.

Hello, humanoids.
I'm friggin' pissed with three people.
Shan't elaborate here ey.
I miss Sweeta and SyahSyahBeylo.
Tchih, Syaaah didn't come to school.
Keh, uhm.
Yesterday, was the same as usual.
Had aerobics in the morning.
I didn't do anything, as usual.
Laughed awaaay with Yvonne.
School, same old same old.
Syaaah went home eaaaaarly.
Soo, after school, went to fetched her with Hidayah.
87-ed to CompassPoint.
Then, ate, this that, 119-ed home.
Imma bookworm -,-
Yes, i am.
Okaaaay, todaaay, uhm, nothing much.
Just the same.
Oh, DnT blueks big time.
Had angklung practice after school.
Learnt a new song.
- Summertime.
Quite eaaaasy to leaaaarn(:
Anws, i tweaked my blog template abeeeet.
If you noticed the difference, then, good.
You're smart and observant.
Those who didn't notice, wellll.
Huakhuak.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i hate MatinIllyasAzmi.
For not being free to meet me -,-"
I friggin' miss him, DUH.
Tsk.
Okaaaaay, otp-ed with Sweeta just now. She sounds sick. o.o
Text-ed Yvonne andd Zaki the whole daay.
Hmph, i wanna change my blogskin.
But imma lazy arse who can't find the perfect skin to tweak.
Tchih.
Lol.
Well, i wanna go aand read.
:D
I'm addicted to reading now.
Don't saaaave me(:

never ending happiness, i wish.

2010-04-04T06:35:00.000-07:00

'Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup, earthlings!
It's been a while since i've updated ey.
Tch, sorraye.
I've been busy(:
Let's staaaart with Fridaaay shaall we?
Hmm, Fridaay, ohh!
Went out with Sweetabby. :D
I missed her effing much, duhh.
Hmm, then i forgot what happened -,-"
Kaay, then, yesterdaaay, religious class one whole day.
K, not really. 2-6pm.
Watched VampireDiaries in the morning.
This show is getting more confusing and complicated.
Keeps me on the edge of my seat.
Kaaay, at night, watched soccer. Lol.
I don't know what got over me.
Soo, watched teevee one whole night, and slept at 4am.
Like, seriously, 4am.
Gossh. Ohh!
BayernMunchen won(:
Keh, todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
Woke up at 8am. -,-"
4hours of sleep, tch!
Then, do this do that.
Played wii.
Till about oneplus.
Then, i felt sleepy.
Soo, i slept till about three.
Then, went to Compass to meet Sweeta.
From there, went to Anchorvaaale Swimming Complex.
Ohh! I saaaw Zaaki! Hahha!
He was there with a bunch of his friends.
Hahha, did alooot of eyewashing. You know, i know aye, Sweeta.
Kaaay, then, swamswamswam. I was dunked in the pool by Sweeta.
-,- She started it. Pulled me in, tsk!
Kaay, then, around 7, parent's fetched us then we went our separate ways.
Cheeeyyy. Texting Zaki and otp-ing with Sweeta.
I miss them already ):
Nvmd, will meet up again, soon.
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, sleeepy.
Bbye.

gasp, ohh gasp!

2010-03-30T04:38:00.000-07:00

okaaay, damn tired.
i slept during maths today.
dead beat.
and, i didn't even realise i slept.
tchih.
still went to angklung tho.
gaahahha.
kaay, im tired.
i've yet to touch my homeworks.
aiyo.
K.
Bbye. -.-

i'm baack!

2010-03-29T02:27:00.000-07:00

KL was effing hot.
Enough said -,-"
I am laaazy to elaborate about my trip.

-

Since i returned, i've been depressed.
Cause this isn't working out, you're ruining it by hurting me, making me jealous.
Drowned myself in emotional love songs -.-
I can't sleep, thinking about all this.
Now, my studies are affected.
I think.
Updaaaates :
Sunday ;
Woke up late, as usual.
Finished almost all of my homework.
Watched two scaaary malay movies.
Santau & Momok.
I think.
Then couldn't sleep.
I slept at three in the morning.
*Sighs.
Today ;
Woke up late.
Rushed.
Was suppose to meet Syah at the bustop at 10.
I was laaate! Hahha, she reached first.
Sooooo, unlikely of her.
Kaay, then walked to school.
Hidayah looks different with a fringe.
Hahhah.
Then, the whole day ends in a blur.
Went home with Yvonne.
Goshh, i need to buck up.
Like, seriously.
Gaaaaaaaaah!
Something is effing wrong with me.

-

; i'm overboard and i need your love.
pull me up, i can't swim on my own, it's too much.
feels like i'm drowning without your love, so throw yourself out to me, my life saver.

[ Justin Bieber ft. Jessica Jarrell - overboard. ]

; now you don't wanna let go,
and i don't wanna let you know,
that there might be something real between us two, who knew?
now we don't wanna fall but,
we're tripping in our hearts and it's reckless and clumsy,
'cause i know you can't love me here.

i wish we had another time,
i wish we had another place,
but everything we have is stuck in the moment,
and there's nothing my heart can do,
to fight with time and space 'cause,
i'm still stuck in the moment with you.

[ Justin Bieber - stuck in the moment. ]

miss me, yeah!

2010-03-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

currently at the airport.
parents so kanchiong, checking in so eaaaaaarly.
one hour before departure -.-"
going KL visiting sick relatives.

okaaaay, miss all you peeps.
miss me, too!
:DD

i hate myself.

2010-03-18T04:00:00.000-07:00

Ohhmgeee, it's Thursdaaaay!
Time flies so faaaaast!
Dreading to go to school because of the conflicts.
Yet, i miss my friends ohh soo much.
Term Two - MYE !
Oh no, oh no!
*Sighs.
Kaaay, but imma good and hardworking girl, so, i'll have no difficulties.
Hahha.
Spent the whole daay yesterday finishing up my homework.
I'm left with science and mathematics but i seriously don't know how to do.
Will ask my ST's next week.
Todaaay, text-ed Zaki and Diyanah.
I miss Deeey effing much laaaah.
But, nowadays, too busy to meet up with her ):
Goshh, i really miss my old life.
Sooo much.
Though, i'm happy enough with my current life, im yearning for my old life.
Tsk!
Nevermindd, study hard, i'll have my JuneHolidays free so that i can meet them.
Just now, went to PlazaSingapura with SyahSyahBeylo.
No comment(:
Tchih.
- Orang nak ge tempat laen, end up tak sempat.
Okaaaay, i'm done.
Ohh, dyed my fringe to brown.
Then, re-dyed my fringe back to black.
K, lol.
My hair still has streaks of red though. ><
I miss Sweetaaa! ):
I miss KakSuryaaaaaa! ):
I miss Maaaaatin! ):

- i'm reallyreally sorry.
i hate myself for doing this to you, hurting you like this.
i keep thinking about it and i've yet to come to a conclusion.
i miss you, i want you, but i'm afraid of hurting you.
if you could see me, you would've seen me crash and burn right in the middle of the street.
my heart aches everytime something bad happens and i'll just assume is my fault.
cause it's probably true.
sometimes, i jsut wish all this was a dream.
that i'd wake up, and realise that everything was a sweet nightmare.
no, it's not. it's just reality.
and, because of this, i got sick, twice.
just thinking about it.
gaaaaaah!
this sucks.
big time.
i'll just concentrate on my studies, and, you, can be my friend.
who's always there for me.
whenever.
i hate myself.

why is this happening?

2010-03-16T22:26:00.000-07:00

Trust is like a paper. Once it's crumpled, it can't be perfect again. You can flatten the paper and try and make it as straight as you want, but it will NEVER be perfect again.

Gosh, ohh, gosh!
I woke up at 12.30pm just now ><
Sucha pig.
Kaay, Sweeta left right after she woke up.
Wthell.
Kay, planned to wake up earlier 'cause wanted to go out with Amiraah.
I didn't set my alarm, so yeah, sorry aye Mirah.
Slept late last night, obviously, with Sweeta here.
Gaaaah, i'm still sleepy.
Anws, yesterday, was on the computer the whole day.
This happens when boredom strikes.
Ughh, i miss school.
Yes, school.
With all the homeworks and stuff.
Oh, wait, on second thought, no.
I've forgotten how to do my science homework.
Literally. And i left my textbook in school.
Greaaaaat.
Im gonna miss Sweeta. She's going on a holiday, grrr.
And, im stuck here in singapore.
Nevermind, im going next week :D
Takecare uhh, Sweeta.
Okaaay, will update later today.
Imma off to eat.

- reply me, i miss you, seriously.

a word's just a word, till you mean what you say.

2010-03-14T03:56:00.000-07:00

empty words, empty promises.
show me that you really care.

Well, hi.
I am tired and sleepy.
Yes, again.
Okaay, quick update.
Yesterday, skipped religious class and went to RedDotMuseum for Syaah's prize giving.
The X-Factor thingy.
After that, went to Plaza Singapura with her.
Watched Alice In Wonderland.
Syah claimed i slept thrice during the movie.
I don't think i did, k -.-
I remembered watching the movie baah.
Tchih.
But i also don't know whether i really slept or not.
Huahua.
Sorry Syah, i scolded you after the movie.
I was really tired. Heh.
Sorry.
K, then, got home and otp with her awhile.
Then otp with Sweeta.
Then, i watched teevee, then i just remembered going to bed.
That's all.
K, lol.
I slept for 12 hours again.
Fuuuh!
Grrr, damn my tiredness.
Now, i'm having migraine.
Kay, today, did nothing the whole day.
Watched teevee, surfed the net, chatted with Zaki, otp with Syah and Saiful, bathed, eat and pray.
K, yeah, a typically boring day.
Tchih.
Oh oh ! Sweeta text-ed Zaki, and didn't text me. Grrr!
Imma scold her upside down tomorrow, hehe.
K, i'm done.

i really don't want to hurt you again.
every time i hurt you, it pains me too.
i have feelings too.
i'm not that heartless.
i still don't know.
i'm in a dilemma.
give me time.

fortynine, fifty, fiftyone.

2010-03-12T02:19:00.000-08:00

Gaaah, tired and sleeeeeepy, pfft.
Quick updaaate!
Wednesday, can't remember what happened in sequence but i know i enjoyed going to NKF.
Performed, chatted, sang for the patients there.
I really enjoyed it uhh.
Yesterday, went to school, briefing then went off to JurongBirdPark.
Went to The Lodge or something.
Briefing again.
Then, blahblahblah, lazy to elaborate, watched shows and had activities.
Ohh, saw my lil' sis there too.
Then, i forgot what happened.
Then, had a briefing on how to pitch a tent.
Quite easy yea.
Besides, i did it before, during P5 Camp.
Then, once done, assigned to the tent.
Soo, shared the 8-men tent with Hidayah, JiaEn, YiTing andd three other girls from E2.
K, lol.
Then, dinner.
After that, showered and went back to The Lodge to plan our routes for an expedition the next day.
Had difficulty trying to find the places on the map.
Seriously, i need a magnifying glass -,-
Then, stressstressstress about the routes then, gave up and walked back to campsite.
Creeeepy, it's so daaaaark.
Kay, then, was getting ready to sleep when Syaah barged in my tent.
Lol.
She took her blanket and crashed at my tent.
Couldn't sleep, obviously, with her around, even though i was dead tired.
End up, i slept for 45 minutes and the rest got more than one hour sleep -,-
Reason being, i was squashed into the corner by Syaah.
I was terrified she will freak out if i pushed her, so, i just remained still.
It was daaaaaaaaaamn hot in the tent. Tchih.
Sweated, k.
Then, it was noisy.
The rest of the SecTwo's weren't asleep yet.
I couldn't sleep, at all.
From 1-5am, seriously.
Around 5am, Syaah woke up, then went back to her tent.
I wanted to go and bathe but then Hidayah insisted i go back to sleep, cause she claimed i'll need the energy for the expedition. -,-"
Soo, slept. I WAS ABLE TO SLEEP!
For 45minutes. Gaaaaah, why? I don't know.
Then, my alarm sounded.
Tchih.
So, woke up, showered, got ready, then assembled.
Briefing on how to keep the tent.
Then, took down the tent.
Then, waas area cleaning.
Then, breakfast.
Text-ed Amiraaah.
JBP has a bad connection manzx.
After breakfast, briefing.
Then, off to the first destination for the expedition.
ICA Building.
Ohh, i learnt how to read a map and i lead my group to two destinations :D
With the help of JiaEn, too.
In fact, i had a big role laaah k, in short.
Kay, i try to remember where we went uhh.
- ICA Building
- Kampung Glam
- Masjid Sultan
- Fountain of Wealth
- War memorial
- Cenotaph
- LimBoSeng Memorial
- SirStamfordRaffles Statue
- Victoria Theatre/Hall
- MerlionPark
Then, finished everything, lead them back to the ICA Building.
Gaaah, there was no bus -.-
Waited for idk how long for the bus.
Then, finally, went back to school and had debriefing.
I got my result slip for TermOne.
Gaaaah, horriblehorrible.
Okaaay, i'm done.
Sorry uhh, my storytelling not that good.
Damn tired here.
Goodnight.
Goodbye.
Snore.

you'd still accept after what i've done?
i don't know but i rather not risk the friendship.
and, i don't want to break it once again.

fortysix, fortyseven, fortyeight.

2010-03-09T06:05:00.000-08:00

Hi, hello.
I'm tired and sleepy but here i am, posting.
Yeaaaaaah.
Okaaaay, quick updaaaate.
Past two days has been hell tiring.
I could sleep peacefully, without waking up every three hours.
Yeaaah, i woke up every three hours the past few weeks, i have no idea why.
Soo, this proves that being in school from 0800 - 1800 is damn tiring.
Uhuhm, kaay.
Learnt magic tricks.
Basically, the whole thing is called Camp M.A.D. ( MagicActionsDefined)
It's service learning week, see.
Soo, tomorrow, am going to NKF Hougang to perform magic and interact with the patients.
Then, Thursday, there's the camp.
Ohh! I just remembered that i'm going overseas two weeks later ><
Okaaaaay, that's all.
My eyes are drooping alreaaady.
Updaaaates will be after camp.
~

fortythree, fortyfour, fortyfive.

2010-03-05T02:16:00.000-08:00

i want to be with you.

Updaaaaaaaaaaaaates.
Monday, school as usual.
I forgot what i did.
Tuesday, after school, went for angklung practice.
For 30 minutes -,-
End up, cancelled cause not that many people showed up.
So, wanted to go home with Amirah but then she had to stayback.
Text-ed Syaaah. Was in 88 when she begged me for 2bucks -.-"
Sooo, alighted, 147-ed to HougangMall.
Met her, lent her the 2bucks she desperately needed andd bought her headphones.
Theen, 89-ed home.
Wednesday, science test.
Damn easy keh.
Results: 23/25 :D happy siaal.
After school, went HougangMall with Amirah.
TopUp-ed ezlink, ate, slacked awhile before heading home.
Yesterday, maths test.
Damn difficult.
I just hope i pass. ><
I remembered i slept during Geography. Hahha !
I was napping on the floor siaaal.
Damn tired.
Todaaaaaaaaaay, had a briefing during USSR.
About the camp next week.
I still can't believe the camp's gonna be at JurongBirdPark.
Like, wthell. No other place ??
Tsk!
So no studies for the whole of next week.
(: Instead, there's this workshop thingy from Mon - Weds.
Costs a bomb. 180bucks ?
Used edusave.
Thurs & Fri, camp, ugh. 300bucks. Tchih!
Kaaaaay, after briefing was malay.
Theen, music, i swear i hate the iMac.
Grr -,-''
Recess, english.
English was bleaah. Keh.
Amazingly, there's little homework for us :D
Maths and malay only.
Okaaaaaaaay, that's all.
Tomorrow, maybe going HougangMall with Amirah before going off for religious class.
I desperately want that item!
K, bbye.

- why are you keeping all this to yourself ?
- why are you hurting yourself ?

forty, fortyone, fortytwo.

2010-02-26T06:08:00.000-08:00

" Maybe it's not how the world looks at you, but how you look at the world. "
" Why are we always trying to impress everyone around us? "
" A lie can change my past, but it can also control my future. "

- A Photogenic Life
Low Kay Hwa.

i have the perfect life yet, i feel so empty inside, why ?
after pondering over that question for almost 6 months, i finally get the answer .
- because i can never get what i want .
and what i want, it's something money can't buy - enough said .
my original life has been edited .
just like a photo .
edit, re-edit, edit, re-edit .
somehow, it ended up as a routine for me .
i'm always wondering - now what ?

okaaaaaaaaay, soo updates for todaay then .
school, was the usual .
apart from the problems, it was a short day .
- when will the conflicts end and when will everything be settled ?
was restless the whole day .
andd, yet, only a few people noticed .
strange, when you get noticed for the wrong things, and never for the wonderful things .
after school, bus-ed to Compass .
taxi-ed to Tampines .
Watched My name is Khan with mommy .
10/10(:
emotional and touching story .
- the tears kept flowing out when i realised that there is so much more to life .
after that was lunch/dinner .
then, gym .
worked out till my muscles ached .
heck care .
- i'll let my body break if it means the pain will fade .
then, homed .
Finished reading three novels in about three days .
A Photogenic Life, You Are Here & I Believe You .
All by Low Kay Hwa .
And, all the stories touched my heart .
And, i came to realise that this week has been an emotional mountain for me .
Uhuhm .
Well, i'm off to bed .
The house is dead silent cause for some reason, everybody's tired today .
Even though it's Friday .
K, bye .

- should i let my soul free, or should i save the regret and just let it go, never allowing it to return to me ?

thirtyseven, thirtyeight, thirtynine.

2010-02-24T05:28:00.000-08:00

whaaaaaat a daaay .
first, i got my handphone back !
:D
was thrilled .
second, the books that i bought online has finally reached my hands .
Low Kay Hwa - Words that speak, Stories that touch .
Tch, will start reading it as soon as possible .
third, spent the day with Joshen and Yvonne(:
I LOVE YOU YVONNE AND JOSHEN :D
Thanks for being there for me whenever .
And, Yvonne, you know i'll be there whenever you need me .
Just shout whenever, and i'll be there(:
Tchih, currenly chatting with Yvonne andd Joshen .
And otp-ing with Joshen .
He won't put down even though we both online -,-
Typicaaaal .
Ohh, andd just now, i walked barefooted -,-
He stole my shoe and i had to walk barefooted all the way back to my class .
Tchih !
Okaaaaaay, that's all for todaaaaay(:

I think im falling for him .

thirtyfour, thirtyfive, thirtysix.

2010-02-22T01:45:00.000-08:00

back to square one eyy .

life's been hectic . won't elaborate much now .

andd, it's over between us .
besides, you started all this .
Ohh, and i'm grounded ):
kind of .

thirtyone, thirtytwo, thirtythree.

2010-02-18T01:00:00.000-08:00

Ohmy, hello !
Worried, worried .
Sheesh .
Kaaay, been staying at hme yesterday andd todaaaay .
Yeah, ditched school .
Tch, valid reason, SICK ! ):
Three days MC . o.o
Wondering whether i should go to school or not tomorrow .
Hmm, tssk !
Maybe i'll go .
My ass is rotting, sitting at home, doing nothing .
Yeah, even though i'm sick -,-
Okaaaaay, i miss all my laughing gas-es ):
One week, not meeting them is torture-es .
Gaaaaaaaaaahh .
Kaaaay, my homework is piling up, just because i missed two days of school .
Like WTHell manzx .
Sheeesh .
Kaaaaay, gtg .
I wanna do my homework .
Goodgirl, ayee .
Will update as soon as possible .
:D

twentyeight, twentynine, thirty.

2010-02-16T04:23:00.000-08:00

quick updaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate !
today was BOOMZ !
woke up sick though .
sore throat, fever and headache .
despite the sickness i had, i decided to go swimming .
soooo, went swimming at anchorvale with Sweeta and co.
did aloooot of "eye-washing" .
you know, i know ayee Sweeta, shhh(:
sooo, choked aloot .
was dunked into the pool by Sweeta andd my brother .
Uhuhm -,-
After about 2 hours of swimming, bathed .
Theeeeen, slacked awhile .
Left and homed .
Went out again with family this time .
House hunting-ed around town .
Dinner-ed at ION .
Walked around, window-shopped .
First time i saw Bugis, Orchard, so emptyyyy .
Tchh !
Then, homed .
Now, bored -.-
Kaaaaaay, bbye(:

caring much ? no, not really.

2010-02-15T23:04:00.000-08:00

I'm disappointed .
I kept waiting, hoping it will happen but, no, it hasn't and i guess it never will .
You had me assured that you loved me, but i saw, you don't care, at all .
I may look like i don't care about you, but i think of you everyday .
I worry, i cry . Because of you .
It hurts to know that you won't be by my side .
I know i've hurt you in the past, but, imma bitch .
That's just who i am .
I really didn't mean anything i've said to you .
You keep me hanging .
You don't finish what you want to say and, each night, i wonder, what did i do wrong .
I wonder if you'll ever acknowledge me for me .
Not me for who you think i am .
I'm not who you think .
All this, it's masks .
I keep wondering when the time will come, when you can see me for me, even with a mask on .
I'll wait .
But my patience has limitations .
And, i really do care .
Please, i need to know you care about me .
A word's just a word till you mean what you say .

twentyfive, twentysix, twentyseven.

2010-02-15T05:43:00.000-08:00

updaaaaaaaaaaaates!
saturday, went to religious class with amiraaaah, the usual .
kecohh, as usual .
andddandd, dierh cute lah sial!
shh, i know you know aye Amirah(:
tsk !
yesterdaaaaaay, wii-ed the whole day .
fifa 10, its addictive, what can i say ?
at night, conferenced with Zaki and Sweeta till my hp batt low -,-
uhuhm .
o.o woke up at 6 todaaaaaay . :D
went to rivervale plaza to have breakfast(:
thenthen, washed mummy's motorcycle .
goodgerl eyyy, help mummy .
Sweeta's coming over later .
i missed her ayyy .
(: till then .

xoxo

twentytwo, twentythree, twentyfour.

2010-02-12T02:47:00.000-08:00

pantang uhh ngan orang yg demand respect beh tak respect orang laen .
ingat besar sngt perh mentang2 adult ?
so whaaaat laah .
kesian dier takde freedom .
kluar ngan kwan puwn kene stalk .
ape jee .
da laaah bad role model .
judgemental pulak tuh .
TSK !
orang mcm gytu ehhh . ishh !

well, as you can see, i'm pissed . sorry, racist abit .
Tsk .
anw, tired like crap .
slacked at punggol just now .
well, not really but it's the same .
and my nose is getting irritating .
anyway, i'm gonna miss my usual laghing gases .
it's a looooooong holiday .
ugh, i think i have the flu .
ohhh, went back to rvps just now .
ohmg, school didn't change but the teachers did o.o
but then my teacher didn't recognize me ):
saaaaaaad laaah .
gaaaah, kaaay . mad like what .

anddddd, i miss those times ): you've changed . andd, i really love you as a friend .
- i make fun of you because i care about you . don't take it to heart(:

nineteen, twenty, twentyone.

2010-02-11T03:40:00.000-08:00

hello .
currently at school .
lol .
uhuhm, bored o.o
:D

sixteen, seventeen, eighteen.

2010-02-08T02:45:00.000-08:00

- im one in a million(:

that was random ahr .
haish, life's been hectic .
AND, i just realised it's been a routine .
Tch, slow betol .
oh oh ! bumped into Syazwani and Aisyah just now at Compass .
I couldn't recognize Wani, seriously .
Dk whye . Lol .
Huh, i guess it's been a long time since i've seen my bbygirl .
Hahah, missed her effing loads eyy .
I miss my other bbygirl too, Sweeta Edorra(:
Well, till next time(:

thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.

2010-01-31T06:03:00.000-08:00

quick update .
thanks to AmirahSofiana for being by my side yesterday .
cried several times and she called me just to check on me .
make shure that i haven't commited suicide yet -.-"
awww, still, touching kan ? hahha, sayang kaw, Mirah !
anyway, feeling a bit better mentally but physically, i am sick ! grrr .
curses . sore body .
i feel like skipping school tomorrow .
o.o
okay, gonna watch VampireDiaries now -.-"
ohh, just realised tomorrow's the first of February 2010 .
sighs, how time flies .

- i guess our love story is over .

hmm, what's life if it's not worth living ?

2010-01-30T05:34:00.000-08:00

Hmm, bad day . Bad day .
Almost cried during religious class just now .
Stupid stuff laah .
I'm sick of my life .
Haiz, sighs .

- i'm done with wishing . i just want it to happen .
i deserve the happiness others have . and, this happens to me .
the hole in my chest is back .
the very same one that i've been trying to close since last year .
- in my head, you seem like a god from the heavens .
i'll be your teacher, i'll show you the ropes .
you'll see a side of love you never known .

ten, eleven, twelve.

2010-01-24T09:40:00.000-08:00

K, quick update .
Woke up like damn early today .
Went to Yishun .
GYM ! Lol .
Oh oh ! Am quitting guitar, soon .
I want to be free on Fridays !
Tch !
But then my brother is going to the gym on Fridays .
So we're going every Friday :D
Anchorvale Gym there .
After that will be basketball with SweetaEdorra .
Then home luh . :D
K, updates next week .
God willing (:

my mind is playing tricks on me.

2010-01-22T07:02:00.000-08:00

Time Check ; 11:00pm .
Just finished otp with Sweeta . Difficult sia talk to her -.-"
LOL . Anw, this week was hectic, as usual .

I miss Muslihin ):
I miss Sweeta ):
I miss Syahirah ):
I miss KakSurya ):

K, lol, that was totally random up there .
I am bored . Can't sleep, as usual .
My eyebags are getiing worser everyday .
Sighs . Will be editing someone's blogskin then, out of boredom .
Ohh, oh ! I edited Syah's blogskin ! Haven't change yet but i swear it's nice !
Well, to my perspective lah . Lol .
Will mostly update on Fridays only from now onwards .
Unless i feel like blogging on other days . -.-"
K, done .
:D

Edited at 11:30pm .
K, getting sleepier -.- lol .
Didn't edit the skin . Tomorrow perhaps, before going to religious class .
Bloghopped to ex-riverlites's blogs .
Gaaah, i miss those times . Lol .
K, off to sleep .
Bbye .

- it's like my brain is wired up and there's a glitch in my system .
you're like a drug and now my blood won't stop itching .

that girl (:

2010-01-18T04:44:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY SWEETA EDORRA !

Dah 14 sehy ! Happy birthday bbygirl(: Hope 2010's your year ! Work hard kay this year ?
I had fun yesterday and i bet you did too(: Your present's still with me and i'll give it to you tomorrow kaaaaay . Damn your fencing lah, kalau tak, bleyh jumpe . Hmph . Hahha, baru jer jumpe smlm . Anyway, thanks for being by my side all this while . 5 years of friendship and still counting ! If you ever need me, you know i'll always be there . Once again, happy birthday and i love you sangatsangat !

seven, eight, nine.

2010-01-15T02:27:00.000-08:00

MUHD MUSLIHIN BIN ABDUL WAHAB .

- i agree to restart everything that happened to us in the past .
just, no misunderstandings, k ?
:D

Kaaaaaay, today was woah .
At first, in the morning, no mood uhs cause something happened yesterday night .
But then Joshen and Yvonne, as usual, lightened my day up .
Ohh, and Cikgu Arizan made me laugh also .
After school, lunch-ed then guitar .
Hectic sia .
Kept laughing till at one point me and Yvonne cried .
Dillon also made us laugh .
Psht .
Dismissed, Joshen, Yvonne, Dillon and me 72-ed to the Hougang Interchange .
Said bbye to Dillon, we went to the McCafe shop there .
Joshen bought for me and Yvonne mcflurry :)
Well, he does owe me $1.60 and now, i owe him $0.10 -.-"
Anw, 89-ed .
We were the only three on the second floor of the bus .
Used a straw to eat my mcflurry uh .
Then suddenly choked on the oreo bits .
Joshen claimed it's mcChoking .
Laughed like hell .
Hahha . Then all three alighted at the same bustop -.-"
Then home-ed .
Chatted with KakSurya, Amirah, Sweeta and Muslihin .
Now, i wanna go watch star wars - episode one ; the phantom menace part eight .
:D

four, five, six.

2010-01-14T02:16:00.000-08:00

HELLO .
K, currently not suppose to blog but heck .
Second week of school was more hectic uh .
Met Matin on Monday . I miss him like effing loads uh .
ANW, i'm an assistant monitor :o
Had a meeting after school today .
For about thirty minutes only ?
LOL .
Ohh, my mom is going to KL for a course tonight .
Will miss her :(
Takpetakpe, until Saturday only .
I miss SweetaEdorraPutriSamsudinAli !
Effing loads .
Nevermind, will be meeting her soon, next Monday, k . :D

- losing you is like somebody just turned all the lights off, i can't see at all .

one, two, three.

2010-01-09T10:38:00.000-08:00

First week of school was hectic!
Sumpah.
Matin left, transferred to Siglap Sec and it's very very sad.
Everyone misses him, like so much.
*Sighs.
Anyway, i won't be posting often anymore.
Quite busy already(:
Soo, anything, just tag and i'll reply asap.

PS ; To whom it might concern :
I AM NOT LEAVING YOU.

oops.

2010-01-06T02:46:00.001-08:00

i have not updated my blog!
i'm so sorry.
(: things have been wild the past few days.
kind of in a rush right now, so i will post a proper one soon ayee.

it's 2010!

2010-01-02T10:56:00.000-08:00

like finally ?
*gasps* 2 more days and we're back to school .
time shure flies .
*sighs sighs* ohh, went shopping at malaysia :D
for 8 hours . jyeah .
bought loads of expensive stuff -.-"
bags, shoes, clothes, accessories .
stuffed characters !
i bought patrick ! lol .
and i bought Sweeta's birthday gift .
it's veryvery special to me and it will be to her, i hope .
okaaaay, will miss the memories i had created in 2009 .
time to create new ones in 2010 !

the new year is coming!

2009-12-31T13:30:00.000-08:00

it's almost 2010!
in a few hours time.
okay, changed blogskin and url, again.
i did it out of boredom.
and since it's a new year soon, why not have a new start ?
(:
relink me, kaaaaay.
p/s ; a happy advanced new year to all!